Vampire Adventures of Wolf Boy and Regular Girl
by best with breadsticks
Summary: Bella and Edward are trying to find the perfect movie for thier movie night. When Bella stummbles across "The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl", and from this movie a secret about Jake is revealed.
1. The Search

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight or The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl…and it makes me sad…

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight or The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl…and it makes me sad….:(

--

"Ooo…this is a classic." Bella lifted the DVD from the shelf, and held it out, so Edward could read it.

"_The Matrix_?" Edward raised an eyebrow at Bella's choice.

"Yeah, Charlie made me watch it when I was like eight. I don't really remember what went on, so maybe…"

"I've seen it about six billion times. It's Carlisle's favorite movie. He actually had a small role in it." Edward placed the movie back on the shelf.

"Oh, who did he play?" She asked interested. She never knew Carlisle was an actor.

"Neo."

"Huh? I thought Keanu Reeves played Neo?"

"He did. Carlisle changed his name, so that if anyone ever found out he was a vampire, he could just say that he is Keanu Reeves."

"Huh?"

"It's his alias. He uses when he does acting."

"Oh…" Bella giggled. "Carlisle is Keanu Reeves."

"It also keeps fan girls away from our house."

"Carlisle has fan girls?" Confusion consumed Bella's face as she looked at Edward.

"Sure he does. I have fan girls too, you know."

"You do?"

"Yeah, haven't you ever noticed all the mail we get at our house?"

Bella shrugged. "I just assumed that Carlisle had a lot of friends."

"No, it's like this." He leaned up against the shelf of movies. "We get anywhere from 34,000-45,000 letters from girls, and sometimes guys, wanting to marry us, have babies with us, inviting us out to dinner, and so on and so forth."

Bella nodded.

"So usually about 2,500 are Emmett's, 4,000 are Jasper's, 230 are Esme's, 10 are Rosalie's, 8,300 are Carlisle's and that leaves 18,000 for me."

"That's a lot of girls…" Bella's eyes fell to the floor. "I bet most are better than me."

"But there is only one person I would ever respond to. If she were to send me any mail once in awhile." Edward lifted himself from the shelf and put his arms around Bella.

"Maybe she should send you some mail some time."

"Maybe she should." He smiled.

"Hey, what about Alice? Doesn't she get mail?"

"Oh yeah, we don't consider hers to be fan mail considering she accepts every invitation. She flew to England last weekend to have tea and crumpets with some guy named Gideon Emery."

"Huh? Vampires don't eat."

"We know. Apparently neither does the Emery guy; 'he was too sexy to eat' was what Alice said. She said his voice was heavenly, too. She came back and told Carlisle to bite him, so that he could talk to her forever."

"So why don't you consider it fan mail?" She put her head on his chest.

"Oh, because half the fun is you and them knowing that you'll never be together, because they don't have a shot."

"That doesn't sound very fun." Bella lift her head up so she could see his beautiful eyes.

"It's fun for me." She smiled, and pressed her face back into his chest.

"So…" Edward began. "Are we going to pick a movie or not?"

Bella pulled away from him, already missing being so close. "Yeah, let's go."

"Maybe this." Edward picked up a DVD from the shelf. "_Dracula_, this my friend is an actually classic."

"A vampire movie?"

"What you got a problem with vampires?"

"Yes." Bella said with a laugh. " They're way too stubborn and caring."

"You wound me." He put his hand over where his beating heart should be as if he had been hurt by Bella's comment.

She smiled and laughed.

Bella then turned her attention to the titles on the shelf behind him.

"Are you two going to actually pick a movie or am I going to have to call the cops?" The cashier yelled from the front of the store.

"Sorry, we're almost done." Edward replied.

"We're closing in five minutes! You two better be out by then!"

"Ok." Bella replied this time. She glanced over each movie. "Hmm…decisions, decisions. Edward?"

"Yeah." He was at the other end of the shelf looking over another group of titles.

"Have you found anything?"

"Negative. Did you?"

Bella let her eyes follow the line of movies searching for one that would fill their movie-watching craving. Her and Edward had been having movie night every Friday night, starting today.

That's when one DVD caught her eye. It was pushed in towards that back, behind _Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children_ and _Max Keeble's Big Move_.

"Hey, Bell, did you find anything?"

"Affirmative." She reached back behind the DVDs and pulled out the one she wanted. _The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl_, it was perfect.

"What movie?" He was quickly to her side. She handed the movie to him. He examined the cover.

"What this?" She nodded. "This is a kid's movie."

"Come on, Edward. It looks kind of cute and Shark Boy or should I say," She flipped the movie over and looked for the real name of Shark Boy. "Taylor Lautner is kind of hott."

"He looks like a twelve year old."

"A hott twelve year old."

"Fine, Bella whatever. We'll watch the twelve-year-old shark and the lava chick movie. As long as you promise not to say he's hott anymore."

"Deal." The two shook hands.

"We're closing now!"

"Ok, we're done." Bella grabbed the movie from Edward's hand and ran up to the cashier.

--

Author's Note: Umm…this is kind of a random story…yeah.

Oh yes, and If you can guess what video character I love that Gideon Emery plays, I will give a imaginary cookie. Fun huh?


	2. The Shark

Disclaimer: Still no Twilight for me…tear… And no Shark Boy and Lava Girl, but I don't really care…

Disclaimer: Still no Twilight for me…tear… And no Shark Boy and Lava Girl, but I don't really care….Edward! runs away and cries

Oh yes, I don't own the song 'Hook Me Up' by the Veronicas or 'The Monster Mash' (I don't know who that's by)

Oh yes, and the answer to my question about Gideon Emery was Balthier from Final Fantasy XII. Since no one answered, I get all my imaginary cookies to myself… ha ha! runs off to horde cookies

--

The two-some were nearly home riding in Edward's Volvo. It had been a quiet ride and Bella was getting antsy.

"So Edward, do you think this one is a winner?" Bella held the DVD box up and waved it back and forth.

"Is the twelve year old 'hott'?"

"No." Bella shook her head.

"Then yes, that movie is a total winner."

"Ok, good." Bella smiled and set the movie down on her lap.

The silence was getting to her again. And even though they were at the end of his driveway, she decided to scroll through the channels on the radio to see what's on.

_Hoooooooook _

_Hook me up _

_I wanna feel the rain in my hair _

_Hoooooooook_

_Hook me up_

_Where should we go?_

_I don't even care_

_Anywhere is go-_

"Bella, can we not play crazy up beat party songs." Edward turned the dial on the radio. "They're so irritating."

"What? You don't like the Veronicas?"

"No, I don't like it. Alice and Esme spend hours on end listening to this stuff. It makes me sick. Oh yeah, Carlisle likes it too. It's his dancing music he says."

"Ok, fine! You choose a station." Bella crossed her arms and pretending to pout over on her side of the car.

"Fine then. I will." Edward leaned over and began fiddling with the knob. There was a roar of a random mix of music that flooded its way through the car and to Bella's eardrums.

_I killed you in the bathroom_

_Your blood was running with mine_

_My life is over _

_Your life is over_

_I'm an emotional child_

_Lying the bathroom floor_

_Blood and pain_

_Are my trials _

_And I don't love you anymore _

_Oooooo-_

Bella turned the knob swiftly, nearly scared half to death by the song Edward had just chosen. "Edward, what the heck was that? Are you really that emo?"

"No, sorry. It's Jasper's favorite. It's kind of catchy." Edward looked apologetic towards Bella. "Here let me find a song."

By this time, Bella and Edward were parked in the garage of the Cullen's mansion. They had been sitting the car having this discussion for nearly an hour. Rosalie was outside the car cursing at them for nearly running her over when they pulled in. Edward was so distracted by the emoness that he didn't see her lying halfway under Emmett's car.

Edward rolled down his window. "Rosalie, shut up." He re-rolled up his window.

"Oh you little! What are you two-" Rosalie was cut off by the window being rolled up. She turned with a 'hmph' and strutted to the door to complain to Emmett.

"Ok, then. Let's see." He fumbled around with the knob. The roar of music once again returned to Bella's eardrums.

_I was working in the lab late one night_

_When my eyes beheld an eerie sight-_

"The monster mash? Seriously, Edward, you like this?"

"Of course. Carlisle wrote. I'm Carlisle's biggest fan." He looked at her as if him being Carlisle's biggest fan was common news to everyone.

"…Ok." Bella shifted in her seat. "Maybe we should go inside and watch this." She held up the DVD.

"Alright." He turned the car off and opened his door. And before Bella even knew it, her door was open as well and she was being carried bridal style into the mansion.

"Edward, I can walk you know."

"No, I don't know." He laughed. She struggled against him to put her down, but after six minutes of useless struggling, she gave in and allowed him to carry her inside.

"Edward, you are such a jerk!" This was the phase Rosalie yelled from the top of the stairs at the twosome as they entered the mansion. Emmett laughed slightly, but stopped immediately when Rosalie glared at him.

Edward smiled. Rosalie stormed off.

"You really got her mad this time. What cha do?" Emmett asked, laughing again since Rosalie was nowhere in sight.

"Nothing out of the usual." Edward set Bella down, and with his usual swiftness he took the DVD from her. "We picked up a DVD."

"Of what?"

"_The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl_."

"Excellent." Emmett smiled a wide, loopy grin. "I've been wanting to see that movie. Let's get Carlisle, Esme, Alice and Jasper. Rosalie probably won't want to watch."

"Probably not. Where are they?" Edward looked about the room for the missing members of his vampire family.

"In the dining room." Emmett pointed. "Why don't you and Bella get them?"

Edward turned to Bella. She nodded and smiled. "Ok, then."

Edward lifted Bella again. "Edward, put me down this instant or Taylor is not only going to be considered hott to me, but completely and totally sexy."

Edward winced at her words. "Ok, ok. Just no hott twelve year olds. I don't want to be losing you to a younger man." He put her back down.

He took her hand and led her to the dining room.

As they opened the duel French doors, Bella froze.

Carlisle did a back flip and then stopped in mid-air, as if time had stopped. As Carlisle flipped in the air, Esme was shooting random bullets at him, which all seemed to slow down as they nearly reached him.

As this was happening, Jasper was running in what looked like slow motion across the walls of the dining room, while Alice kept asking something about wanting to take the red or the blue pill. It was completely chaotic.

"Huh?" Bella looked around the room confused. "What the heck is this?"

Edward groaned. "They're reenacting _The Matrix_ again."

"That movie Carlisle, or should I say Keanu, was in?"

"Yes, that's the one. Carlisle tends to have us reenacting it a lot. I usually get sucked into his role plays." Edward let out a sigh.

"Hey, Edward!" Jasper yelled as he flipped off the wall, just barely missing Alice. "You want to join in?"

"No, Bella and I wanted to know if you guys wanted to watch a movie."

"Of course." Esme said. She walked over to Edward and Bella. "What movie?"

"_The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl._" Alice answered.

Edward glared at Alice for ruining the surprise. She always seemed to do that. But still Edward held it up for Esme to see.

"Oh yes, this is wonderful. That boy on the front is so cute." Edward groaned. "Is someone jealous?"

"If one more person says that Taylor kid is hott, sexy, cute or anything else to that effect, I am going to throw myself at Volturi and beg for them to kill me."

"Now, Edward that would make Bella sad." Esme looked over to Bella.

"What, that wouldn't make any of you sad?" Edward said.

"No, not really." She kissed him on the top of the head, and walked off.

"I would be sad." Alice raised her hand, and looked soft eyed at Edward.

"Thank you, Alice." He smiled.

Carlisle stepped forward. "So, I do believe we have a movie to watch, correct?"

"Yup." Bella answered, grabbing the DVD from Edward. She giggled at his confused look as she took it from him.

Bella next latched her hand onto Edward's and pulled him into the living, or should I say, dead room.

Once they arrived, the both sat down in unison on the couch.

Alice pulled a chair in from the dining room, as did Jasper. They looked at one another for a bit, until Jasper finally spoke. "This is a kid's movie, right?"

"Uh, huh." Alice nodded and smiled, leaning her head down on his shoulder.

"So, there won't be any brutal killings or emo situations, right?"

"You would be correct."

"So this movie sucks, right? He leaned his head down on top of hers.

"Probably, I don't really know. I for some reason can't really see the ending of this movie. It's like there's a werewolf in it or something." She shrugged.

Bella walked over to the DVD player. As she did, Rosalie and Emmett entered.

"I hate you." Rosalie stated as she walked past Edward. He smiled again. "Stop smiling, you little-"

"Calm down." Jasper waved his hand from the chair him and Alice were now sharing, because she had decided she wanted to sit on top of him and cuddle rather than be on her own chair.

Emmett pulled Rosalie to an empty chair across the room. He sat and she sat on top him, resting her head on his chest. Emmett kissed her on the top of the head. "He's right. Calm down. Edward really didn't do anything out of the ordinary. You're just moody."

"I am not moody!"

"Hey, Bella." Emmett called from his chair. Covered in wires, Bella turned. "What's that thing called when a girl gets all moody?"

"Ummmm….Pregnancy or their period?" Bella tried desperately to uncover herself from all the wires. She had been putting the DVD in, when she realized the DVD player wasn't plugged in. So she began to try to find the plug, only to fail miserably and got herself tangled in a web of random wires. And no one really seemed to care enough to help her, so there she stood trying to break free of her wire web, while Emmett, Rosalie, Edward, Alice and Jasper did nothing, but stared at her.

"Yeah, period. That's the one." Emmett looked down at Rosalie on his chest. "Are you having your period?"

"I can't have my period! I'm a vampire! Those parts don't work anymore! Hence I can't have my baby!" She screamed at him, which became a sudden sob or at least an attempt to sob.

"Oh." Was the only thing Emmett could say.

"Why don't we all just calm down?" Jasper waved his hand downward as he spoke. "I'm getting so much negative energy. It's making me all moody. And Alice doesn't like me when I'm moody."

"Yeah, I don't like your mood swings. You're worse then a pregnant woman." Alice laughed.

"I think I got it." Bella finally had found the right plug and had plugged it in. She then went back to her seat next to Edward, who had been staring blankly for the past couple minutes because no one was talking to him.

"Did we miss the movie?" Carlisle walked in with Esme in one arm and a bowl of popcorn in the other.

"No." Bella replied. She saw the popcorn. "Why the popcorn? You guys can't eat."

"I know." He placed it on Bella's lap. "It's for you and for show."

"Oh, thanks." She looked down at the galloon bowl of popcorn Carlisle had given her. "Why do you even have popcorn in your house?"

"So when we have movie night we can look normal. A movie and popcorn, the perfect combo."

"It's also incase someone comes to our house," Edward began. "We can say we have popcorn. People love popcorn."

Carlisle and Esme sat down crossed-legged on the floor, like they were five. "I love sitting on the floor like we're five." Esme said, as she lean over on to Carlisle.

Bella reached for the remote and finally got a hold of it. Edward put his arm around her, she snuggled herself into his arm. Then she pressed play and the opening menu came up.

"We all want to hear this in English, right?" Bella looked around the room for any answers.

Emmett raised his hand. Bella nodded to him to answer. "I want to hear it in French."

"Now, Emmett, dear." Esme started. "Since Carlisle and I are pretending we're five year olds, we don't speak French, so we should hear it in English."

"But what if you two are French five year olds?"

"No, we speak English."

"How about I put the French subtitles on, ok?" Bella glanced at both Esme, on the floor, and Emmett, on the chair.

"Sounds good." Emmett agreed.

As Bella tried to find the subtitle menu, Edward asked. "Why do you want it in French, anyway?"

"I don't know. I like French stuff. Especially, their toast." Edward sighed.

"How in the world did you make it through high school multiple times and then college?"

"I cooked French toast for all my teachers every making quarter. Everyone loves French toast."

"Shut up, Emmett." His chest muffled Rosalie's voice.

"I found it!" Bella put the subtitles on and then went back to the play menu. "Ready?" Everyone nodded. "Ok, here we go." She pressed play.

The first fifteen minutes were pretty boring. Some kid named Max being picked on because had a book of his dreams. His dreams being, Shark Boy and Lava Girl, both of which lived in an imaginary dream world, Max had created.

"Nope, not emo." Jasper stated. "Not emo at all."

The movie continued. Max is summoned to his dream world to help fight some bad guy that stole his dream book.

"Still not emo." Jasper spoke again.

Max went to the dream world, where he teamed up with his dreamed up creations Shark Boy and Lava Girl.

Bella froze as the camera went to Shark Boy. She reached for the remote quickly and paused the movie on a picture of Shark Boy's face.

"I know him." She stared and repeated again, louder this time. "I know him! Edward, you know him!" She looked wide-eyed at him.

"Oh my god…" Edward stared at the screen. "That's no shark, that's a wolf."

"And not just any wolf." Bella looked at him. "It's Jacob."

"Holy god…Jacob is Shark Boy!" They both turned to the screen and burst out laughing.

--

Author's Note: Yes, Jacob is Shark Boy. The actor Taylor Lautner plays both Jacob and Shark Boy and my sister and I found it amusing, and so this was born. :D

Oh yes, and if you can tell me who wrote the emo Jasper song, I will give you an imaginary cookie!


End file.
